Friday, March 09, 2007

Third time's a charm

I'm going to make another push, my third, towards posting more often. I truly dont know how long this will last. The last time it didn't last longer than two posts, which is kinda pathetic. So I try not to have high hopes this time around.

Of Prejudices and Random Ramblings

I have had this thing on my mind for a few weeks and I got reminded about it when I read Prashanth's post. What is it about other people that bothers me, if any?

Fact is, I am rarely bothered by the people I meet or when I get to know them. Maybe it is an inherent thing, I like to be friends with everybody I meet. Most of the times I'm not bothered if a person is arrogant, rude, dumb, hypocritical, racist or sexist. Maybe that person doesn't behave that way when they are with me or interacting with me. Maybe it doesn't bother me. Maybe its because I often think about how it feels to be in the other person's shoe. Fat people, black people, hispanics, asians, gays; I think about how it must feel for them. I empathize easily, not that they need my empathy but I think about it often.

Here's an example. A friend of mine and me were discussing about this fat lady who was his supervisor. He had mentioned before and we have talked about her many times. She had always been rude and condescending to him. Not entirely empathizing credentials but one day we were talking about her and without thinking I just spoke out loud saying "imagine how it must be for a middle aged, fat, black woman who would require two seats on an airplane and how she cant find anybody to treat her like a nice lady and all that stuff" When you have so much frustration within yourself, like the way she does, you gotta take it out somewhere, right? True, being rude and condescending is wholly unacceptable but I just stepped in her shoes for a moment. I guess this makes me more tolerant and not easily bothered.

That brings me to the gays, who are often maligned and treated with as much respect as social outcasts. I think the world is still polarized on same sex marriages and people of the same sex living together. This was clearly evident in a recent happening. An ex-NBA player decided to raise awareness by publicly stating his sexual preferences and bringing to the fore that there are the well built professional sports players who are gay and it is not restricted to skinny guys with male model looks. When asked about this, his coach and most of his former teammates stated that they had no problem with it as long as he gave 100% on the court during game time. But there was one guy who publicly stated that he didn't like it and he wouldn't have liked to be in the same room as him. The verdict is still out though.

I guess I remain in the first group of people on both the issues. As long as you bring your best performance in your work or you remain decent and proper with me, I don't care if you choose to be rude, gay or racist. It just doesn't bother me. But once it becomes personal its a whole difference issue altogether. Then I would go like "you and me buddy, have something to talk about!!!"

Going with my natural tendency to quote scenes or speeches in a movie, the whole prejudice thing reminds me of a scene in the movie called 25th Hour. Edward Norton's (my favorite by the way) character, a drug dealer get caught, convicted and is to be jailed in 24hrs. In one scene he looks at a mirror goes on a long monologue about how his troubles are because of everybody else. He trashes everybody in NYC, the sikhs, pakistanis, koreans, italians, jews, gays, blacks, puerto ricans, dominicans, the cops, priests, rich hags, his father, his best friends and even his girl friend. But in the end he realizes and finishes his monologues saying that "You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!"

Prejudiced or not, either way it doesn't mean theres anything unnatural about you or the other guy. But if you can get through life without prejudices, I think its a good thing.

5 comments:

Stallion said...

Totally agree with u mayte. Well....its all in ur mind da. You need to get the balance right, otherwise...ur making life hell for urself...

Prashanth said...

So you're back! Have you graduated yet? What's news?

Rebelzz said...

We might normally assume that we are not at all prejudiced, because the only kind of people that we are surrounded by are similar to us. So, when we meet someone who id different it becomes a natural tendency to get scared and condemn the person!

So, most of us are prejudiced somehow or the other. We just don't realise it.

Anonymous said...

Your so called empathy and "acceptance" of others as long as they are nice to you and consequently, the manifestation of this blog stems from your repressed subconscious feelings that others do not often empathize with you and judge you on hearsay despite you putting on your best shoes in front of them.
Stop being such a people pleaser and grow a pair.

sameer said...

nice post.
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