Why should all grad students, I emphasize engineering grad students be portrayed as depressed, tired and stressed out lab rats. Is it a stereotype or a comfort level we give in to? Arent we the people who are supposed to be inventing groundbreaking technology so it can reach the common man and whilst capitalist conglomerates permitting, bridging the technology barrier. Or are we just supposed to be spending hours inside labs or in front of computer trying to improve something so that our advisors can get increased monetary grants and hopefully continue funding us? Will the research we do, matter to the scientific society or will it be dropped as a hot cake as soon as we finish our dissertation.
I spend close to 5-6 hours a day inside the "Clean Room" aka fabrication lab unlike computer engineers who spend most of time in front of computers. I have to wear full lab suits, shoe covers, head covers, face masks, gloves and sometimes protective goggles, because the devices we fabricate (design and make) are in the nanometer scale in fact smaller than the hair's breadth and our skin flakes. Imagine dressed up in a bunny suit like that for 5-6 hours a day. So what if I have to, depression cannot be imposed on me for having to be that way.
I also have tough deadlines to meet. Plus I also have to constantly prove to my advisor that Im more competent than the next guy to receive continued assistantships and tuition scholarship grants. That aint going to get me stressed. So, if Im not stressed or depressed why am I ranting and raving. Well, actually I am, and Im right now coping it by writing about it :)
According to the grad student etiquette laid down by PhdComics, you should never ask a grad student about his research or the progress made on his thesis. Research can make or break a person because one day you get great results and get accolades from your advisor but the next day your experiment can fuck you up real good. *read as my current situation, thanks to my fellow chinese grad student, whos fucked up my machine for an experiment he had to do. Also, my motivation for this post. Wait till I lay my hands on him. I should mix some laxative in the Campbells soup he drinks daily or invite him home for dinner and decapacitate him with my spiciest mix of Indian dishes, grrr*
But I aint going to give in to the system and be just another grad student. Because it aint me, my countenance might give you the impression Im brooding but Im always cheerful. And thats how Im going to go through grad school, you want to know why because I love what I do and theres no other place I want to be. Cheers!
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20 comments:
A VERY INTERESTING READ!!!
Yeah, talk about the pleasure / satisfaction / self-gratification derived from the very idea of "inventing groundbreaking technology"... and the pain in the thought that it might "dropped" with no consequence!!! Now that is intrinsically dichotomous in nature ...
But to equate work with depression is NOT.. or lemme say not NECESSARILY dichotomous ... Work can be so fulfilling, so satisfying ... and lack of work can be so frustating .. I am not talking about monetary remuneration here (which itself is a very justified reason to work) but the self-worth we discover in hard work! As Pablo Picasso said.." I am exhausted if I don’t work" ... and in words of Sam Ewing "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all" ... SO ENJOY YOUR WORK!!!
Now lemme not discount the value of relaxation... which brings me to movies; and i notice you're somewhat of a movie freak too!!! In fact the way prashanth talks about fantasy-novels....I can talk about movies... and yesterday I saw 3 movies; "Educating Rita", "The Big Kahuna" and "Sin-City"... all three so different in style, content and message ... How I wish to talk about Kevin Spacey's acting, and innovative direction of movies like Sin-City!!!
Now, you asked earlier:
I dont have a Blog... though sometimes I've thought about it, if for nothing else, then to write on movies ....
-Intern
To think about the dichotomous nature of research is like digging your own grave. Although the dichotomy exist, I mention that I wont fall prey to the system because I love what I do. If I was more interested in monetary remuneration I would have taken the easier route of MS and job/MBA. I knew what I wanted to do and I believe Im doing exactly that.
Wow, finding people like you who are as passionate about movies is what I intended to do through my movie blog. Kaushik was one person with whom I share many common favorite movies. Theres another guy who lives in my apartment block and I just love discussing offbeat films with him, he has really shown me some great movies. I managed to see two movies this weekend, cinema paradiso and no mans land. I intend writing about no mans land pretty soon. I just finished seeing fight club again. I think you should be a part of the movie blog and we would love to hear about movies such as Educating Rita and The Big Kahuna.
Well what can be worse than someone else screwing up ur machine before u did!!!!:d
But you are right, we keep at it 'cos we love it anad if all went well then you are never gonna feel like you've achieved something!!
If you get what you intended to get, then it aint research at all :P one of my brighter sayings about research :)) Worse thing is, it doesnt matter, who messed up the machine first, me or the other guy, I have to get it back to working condition because I happen to be incharge of the machine and Im supposed to know more about it than anybody else. And hey, welcome back its nice to have you back on blogworld.
Swearing is bad for health.
Swearing is such a natural emotion just like anger, laughter or crying. I dont mind using the f word as long as it is not personal or used as a verb directed towards another person :)
"F&*% is just a word,
and its all f*%$ed up"
Hot Dog by Limpbizkit.
Ohh yeah .. I agree @ sensibly!!!
Prashath the F-word is just everywhere; get used to it...... cause it means nothing, more than a mild frustation!!!
Actually, I was quite impressed by Sensibly's sensitivity to other peoples sensitiveness when in his last post he mentioned: "one has to carefully tread around bruised egos just like the way you need to handle a field of land mine."
Now that training will go a looong way in life!!!
Coming to movies; if you like off-beat movies, I would highly recommend "The Big Kahuna".. its a very interesing movie, only 3 salesmen and one evening .........how their conversations take gives a glimpse of their lives!! I've seen "The Fight Club" long back.. another off-beat movie. I think I would write in your movie reviews section....
Keep up that spirit:
dont fall prey to the system's pitfalls:
- Intern
Thanks for your support intern and I dont intend to fall prey to the system. It looks like you seem to be really eager to disagree with prashanth or pull his leg :P
Dont worry, I fully intend to watch The Big Kahuna, I checked out the movie in IMDB the moment you mentioned the movie. Its like a compulsive habit of mine, I have to go through IMDB first to get some lowdown about the movie ratings or sneak a peek before I actually watch the movie. In fact I visit IMDB atleast 20 times a day, to read about something in particular or just browse.
If you are a movie freak like us, you should definitely write and we would love to read your reviews about more movies like Big Kahuna, which are virtually unheard of.
one swears when one does not know enough word-power, my parents used to teach us this..
good that you are coping with the frustration, and you will get your chance too. It's life, things happen, if life would have been so smooth, wouldn't we get bored? and see, this made u realized that u still want the same thing, it just tested your determintaion!
Grr u have to meet my advisor....she is a good hearted, terribley organiized, coke sipping (perpettually), highly pushy(she gets more stressed out than us and this makes us much more stressed...and she get much much more stressed and spends too much time at school causing problems in her marriage leading to more stress and more confusion.......), short tempered lady.....I chose my topic (dont ask me what????...) and did all the trials in the lab and machines and validated the results of the simulation software......and the results were not as expected (thats the whole point right? If we rach a dead end it means that we succeded in finding out that there is no point going further....)...so she CHANGED THE TITLE OF MY THESIS ACCORDING TO THE RESULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
venus: shall reply to you soon.
girl interrupted: i could only go wow reading about your advisor. It looks like every advisor is terrible in their own way. Mine is a commander in the navy, who keeps harping upon discipline and hard work. Work hard, I dont care if you sleep, eat or bathe as long as you show me results, Ill spare you. yeah rite!
hey, I love Campbell's soup.. yum yum yummy.....and far from being an appetizer, its like a meal! btw, Chinese food has been apated in so many versions and Indian-Chinese is the best!!! Veg/chicken manchurain, Lollipop chicken n hakka noodles ... are signature dishes! (I wonder if they have it in China or American-Chinese).....
and your talking about spicy Indian food, reminds me of an American friend of mine, who travels to India very frequently and LOVES hot-spicy Hydrabadi food soaked in hot red pepper!!!
- Intern
So ur advisor was in Navy??hmmm...I had a prof who was in airforce....he used to teach mechanical behaviour of plastics....he used to come to class stretch his arms and trun left to right....he loved this posture....he said that it reminded him of planes!!!! he used to talk talk talk about himself...on how he worked for a professor (when he was a student) who was a student of another prof who did his thesis under nobel prize winning William, Landel and Ferry team!!!!.............in few days we were told that his wife sought a divorce from him.....some students said that he probabaly talked talked talked a lot about himself and turned his back to his wife in the bed and hence she wanted him out!!!
Well... actually I have a strong opinion on the whole anger/frustration/swearing thing...
People say that you must vent out your emotions. To keep them bottled up inside is bad for health. But I don't think it applies for all emotions.
Grief? Go ahead and cry. Happiness? Go ahead, jump and squeal.
But if swearing is a permissible outlet for frustration, then what is the permissible outlet for anger? There should be none. To have such an outlet is to encourage anger. Frustration is the cousin of anger; you should treat them in the same manner.
So what do I advocate for dealing with anger and frustration? These are emotions that overflow like milk on the boil. I advocate that you reduce it to a simmer, slowly, until it is under your control; then turn it off through strength of will.
With practice, you will find that the anger flares smaller and smaller every successive time. Ultimately, the same things that brought you anger will bring you nothing but amusement and pity for the person or thing that ought to be the cause of your anger.
There you go ....
... that explains why I enjoy messing up in Prashanth's Blog...
he doesnt get angry ... in fact its his amusement!!!
*I
Intern must be getting tired... a short comment... wow, haven't seen one from her before ;)
Added a comment in "New Beginning"
- Intern
YO!! progressively smaller !!!
PROOF: Check comments: 1, 7, 12, 16, 18
you got great attitude! :)
you guys, read grad students / Phd pursuers aren't the only ones. it might just be the journey of finding yourself when you're away from home. it's a fabulous experience for most parts but then the frustration does set in. to answer prashanth's query, we actually thought of a marketing exercise to help people vent out their anger. it was a mock assignment, thus, it never did see the light of day! :)
and yea, the previous comment was mine, not johnjon's! pardon, i am not quite a morning person. :)
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