Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The system shall not affect me.........the rantings of a grad student

Why should all grad students, I emphasize engineering grad students be portrayed as depressed, tired and stressed out lab rats. Is it a stereotype or a comfort level we give in to? Arent we the people who are supposed to be inventing groundbreaking technology so it can reach the common man and whilst capitalist conglomerates permitting, bridging the technology barrier. Or are we just supposed to be spending hours inside labs or in front of computer trying to improve something so that our advisors can get increased monetary grants and hopefully continue funding us? Will the research we do, matter to the scientific society or will it be dropped as a hot cake as soon as we finish our dissertation.

I spend close to 5-6 hours a day inside the "Clean Room" aka fabrication lab unlike computer engineers who spend most of time in front of computers. I have to wear full lab suits, shoe covers, head covers, face masks, gloves and sometimes protective goggles, because the devices we fabricate (design and make) are in the nanometer scale in fact smaller than the hair's breadth and our skin flakes. Imagine dressed up in a bunny suit like that for 5-6 hours a day. So what if I have to, depression cannot be imposed on me for having to be that way.

I also have tough deadlines to meet. Plus I also have to constantly prove to my advisor that Im more competent than the next guy to receive continued assistantships and tuition scholarship grants. That aint going to get me stressed. So, if Im not stressed or depressed why am I ranting and raving. Well, actually I am, and Im right now coping it by writing about it :)

According to the grad student etiquette laid down by PhdComics, you should never ask a grad student about his research or the progress made on his thesis. Research can make or break a person because one day you get great results and get accolades from your advisor but the next day your experiment can fuck you up real good. *read as my current situation, thanks to my fellow chinese grad student, whos fucked up my machine for an experiment he had to do. Also, my motivation for this post. Wait till I lay my hands on him. I should mix some laxative in the Campbells soup he drinks daily or invite him home for dinner and decapacitate him with my spiciest mix of Indian dishes, grrr*

But I aint going to give in to the system and be just another grad student. Because it aint me, my countenance might give you the impression Im brooding but Im always cheerful. And thats how Im going to go through grad school, you want to know why because I love what I do and theres no other place I want to be. Cheers!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The year gone by

A month ago, my first year in the US has passed, a fact my mom never forgets to mention everytime I talk to her. She can't believe that its been a year since I moved and Im like "its already a year? phew time flew fast". I guess when you are in the process of constantly learning things, like how to cook, adapt, do laundry, drive and clean, it looks like a year well spent. I suppose its going to be that way for very many years because I've yet to learn many things I need to.

Besides my graduate work, for which Im here, the past year has been about lessons learned, some embarrassing, some funny and some tough ones. Learning new things and un-learning things which have sort of found a way into me has taken the best part of the year. The most important lessons have been about professionalism, courtesy and living single. Learning to look left before you look right before crossing the road has been the most toughest one I must add ;)

Sharing an apartment and duties has been a new experience, especially since one has to carefully tread around bruised egos just like the way you need to handle a field of land mine. Nevertheless, its been another lesson on diplomacy and tact. Cooking, well I cant say enough about it. From a guy who was mortally scared of lighting a stove (dont ask me why) to a pretty good cook, its been a great adventure. Scorched vessels, burnt hands and cut fingers, its been fun. One thing I've realised is that no amount of cook books with zillion recipes are going to help. It takes a pinch of common sense, large amounts of general knowledge and concentration. Yeah, concentration, cooking is not learnt by committing ingredients to memory and training your motor memory to do the stuff.

My parents have already started talking about the time I'll be coming back, which is too far off to say definitively because lets face it, Im in grad school. So places to go, things to do and stuff to learn before I rest. (my version of a popular saying) :))