Thursday, April 28, 2005

Surreal and ephemeral

The sky was painted with shades of crimson and tangerine, indicative of a twilight that was fast approaching and threatening to engulf the shore with darkness. Quite oblivious to this stunning sunset were two shadows sitting in their deck. The last gasps of sunlight defining their presence as the only witnesses to the play of the rays and clouds. The rays seemed to soften the clouds and the horizon, the twilight colors muted and subdued in awe of the larger than life personas of the two shadows. Her head lay on his shoulder and perfectly fitted the gully between his head and shoulder and his head on top of hers. Like two pieces of jigsaw puzzles they perfectly fit each other. They held each other close lest the sea breeze occupies the space between their physical beings and forms a rift of separation.

Through troubled times, they would shoulder each other. Each giving thousand words of courage for every word spoken and another thousand words for those they did not. His face, wrinkled, each wrinkle a testimonial to the trials and tribulations at the hands of a harsh and unrelenting society. His face showing the pain of hiding his troubles from her. But often, to show that love shores up the fraility of the being and self, he would drop the facade of courage only between themselves. Emphasizing his vulnerability to the outside world but taking courage from her physical and emotional presence. No words yet spoken.

Their hands held together, fingers entwined, like a ball of wool, they formed an intricate pattern, its beginning at the root of their heart. Each gentle and responsive to touch, always on the verge of engulfing each other in flames of passion, yet never held tightly that would make them conscious of it. It would be hard to tell for the dispassionate that the shadows had any beginning or end. The air around them froze, keeping their distance, not wanting to intrude their presence.

He was looking out into the horizon. His gaze unfocussed, his mind not taking in anything other than the her presence beside him. He didnt have to look at her to know that her attention was focussed on him. She reached out to him. Her hand drawing an imaginary crease along the sides of his face, fingers taking the path of his features. Her forefinger coming to rest beneath his chin and the thumb on the chin, urging him to look up. He was resisting her silent request not wanting to move a muscle lest it shall alter the alignment of the cosmos and destroy the tender moment hanging in the balance.

But, he slowly gave in and did something that he would regret for a long time to come; he looked up and realized that she had no face.

16 comments:

Eroteme said...

Surreal indeed. Reminds me of Dali and a painting I had made back in school (my teacher told me there was no word called surreal and this is not a painting!!)

Anyway, as much as I hate to do this, there is a technical flaw:

Her head lay on his shoulder and perfectly fitted the gully between his head and shoulder and his head on top of hers.

and later....

he looked up and realized that she had no face.

:-) Had he looked down, he might have seen that, unless the "she" is the world around him which had no face to him while he was so absorbed in his love for the "she" beneath his head... Sophistry helps!!! ;-)

Loved your relay of the play of colours and breeze... wonderful. Nice choice of words.

"It would be hard to tell for the dispassionate that the shadows had any beginning or end."

Sentence restructuring might help.

They held each other close lest the sea breeze occupies the space between their physical beings and forms a rift of separation.

I get the idea you are playing with, but would you prefer a less technical way of saying it?

"They held each other close; their Halcyon form letting not time be a part of them nor breeze and space set them apart."

Would this sound interesting to you? You get to play with "part" and "apart".

A little knowledge about Halcyon might help. The Halcyon according to mythology (I think Greek) had the power to calm the sea and the wind lest they disturb its nest.

sensiblystoned said...

Eroteme,
There were some sentences which I thought stood out because of poor sentence structuring and others just sticking out like a sore thumb. Thanks for pointing it out. Its just the way that I write; I write whatever comes to my mind about a certain topic and then try to fit them with a certain flow. Thats why some sentences end up like you mentioned and sometimes even the flow of thoughts.

I liked the way you write about the part and apart. And you are right about Halcyon, its a Greek mythical bird that was supposed to have the power to calm the wind and the waves while it nested on the sea during winter solstice. Thanks.

wookie said...

Very nice post.Surreal indeed. I agree with Eroteme-"he looked up" doesn't make sense techinically.Also, I seriously didn't understand the last bit-"...she had no face".Care to explain please?

sensiblystoned said...

Lone Warrior: You know my shoulder space is empty. Its open for somebody to move in :)) Now, dont get any ideas. A short movie? I doubt that, this is a just a small scene and I dont think a movie could capture the scene.

Wookie: Thanks for your comments. I agree to the technicality error. I wasnt clear. You see, when I say that "she" was moving her hand along the side of his face, I had imagined her to have raised her head from his shoulder, which I conveniently forgot to write and convey to the readers.

As to the last part, I was trying to put forth that the "he" was actually missing a "she" that he would have loved to have by her side and whose love would be like the one mentioned in the post. Thats the reference to the "she" having no face. Did you get it?

wookie said...

ah!now I understand.

Vetti Guy said...

Came across your site only recently.Nice writing style.

The fact that she has no face could also mean that if one is open and loving,we could live with anyone.I dont agree with the concept of just one soul mate.

sensiblystoned said...

Mystic,
Thats what Im trying to say, the "he" is open and loving, waiting for the "she". Soul mate? I dont know much about soul mates and I dont think I believe in soul mates. Simply because none of the friends I have are like me!! Thanks for coming to my blog. Ive been visiting your blog off and on but its a heavy take on philosophy. I guess I have to be in a totally different frame of mind to go through your blog.

sensiblystoned said...

Wooaaww:
well what? :-/ Now dont make me wish I hadnt asked!!!

reNUka said...

--yet never held tightly that would make them conscious of it.--
great!!! :-)

i thought this post could have been be an aftermath of 'A Beautiful Mind' - i mean the schizophrenic feel... it gave me a 'kadasilla-appadi-oruthanga-illavae-illaya?' reaction ;-)

sensiblystoned said...

Renuka,
Thanks. I like that too but I wish I had said it better :) 'A Beautiful Mind" one of my favorite movies and I thought Russell Crowe was cheated out of a deserved oscar :)

Panch said...

un blog enakku puriyara maattengudhu nanba! onnu nee un level a koraikkanum...illa naan un level kku valaranum...neeye korachchikkoyaen...namakku nemba kashtam.
But it was nice reading it still!

sensiblystoned said...

Panch thalai,
Unnoda modesty ennaku pull arikuthu. truth is nee oru thani high levella irukkae. naan thaan unnoda levelluku varanum, but ill keep trying and reach ur high level soon :)

Prabha said...

i loved this particular line
"Their hands held together, fingers entwined, like a ball of wool, they formed an intricate pattern, its beginning at the root of their heart."
Really nice!!
Guess

sensiblystoned said...

prabha: thanks :) thats one among my favorites too.

vitalstatistix: dude, "now empty?" :-O I dont remember sayin it as "now empty", I just said its empty. Past....trivial passage in time. Im just trying to paint a picture of love that a guy would have, where physical appearances are secondary.

I think its high time I write a new post, not to mention about something other than love :)

M. said...

Nice post....and I dont think I can add anything that hasnt been said yet but......ahem could you please increase the font on your blog?...:D

sensiblystoned said...

Misha,
What the lady wants, the lady gets. Shall do the next time around. Thanks for stopping by.